New Course on Design + Narratives: Personal and Social
We become the stories we tell ourselves
We are delighted to announce the launch of a new cohort based course titled “Design Fundamentals for Busy Professionals”. Join us on Nov 16. The event is for Network Capital subscribers.
The American elections were surprising to some, and to others, they seemed inevitable. While it is tempting to think the verdict was about a person or a set of people, we think it was largely a question of narratives. For good or for bad, the Americans voted based on the narrative that resonated more. Now might be a good time to listen to Dhruva and Utkarsh's debate.
Some point out that Biden was too old and Kamala too woke but did that influence the election results?
Biden won the previous election as an underdog. America wanted stability and he was elected to do the job. Take a look at our post from back then
Trump ran a relatively more disciplined campaign but his victory isn’t a result of anything he did. People lost trust in the narrative evangelized by the Democrats. Time will tell whether it backfires or not. The markets have responded positively. Bitcoin reached an all time high and the Iran Riyal reached its all time low.
Once the dust settles, we should analyze whether there is any difference between the policies promised by both parties? Michael Porter seems to think not.
It is all a game of narratives. Call it the narrative-market fit.
Even at a personal level, we become the stories we tell ourselves. This is an essay published by Utkarsh.
Philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre once noted, “I can only answer the question ‘What am I to do?’ if I can answer the prior question ‘Of what story or stories do I find myself a part?’”
While we often think of stories as external—crafted by societies, cultures, and history—one of the most powerful narratives we live by is the one we tell ourselves. This internal dialogue, or chatter, as psychologist Ethan Kross calls it, is the foundation for how we interpret everything. Kross, who studies introspection at the Emotion and Self-Control Lab at the University of Michigan, explores this in his book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It. He argues that our inner voice shapes not only our mood and mental health but also how we navigate challenges, large and small.
Kross suggests that “distanced self-talk” can be a powerful psychological tool to help us manage difficult emotions. Simply put, we should speak to ourselves as we would to a close friend. It’s a way of gaining perspective, taking a step back from overwhelming emotions, and finding a clearer, more grounded response.
When things are going well, many of us tell ourselves stories that are uplifting because we can visualise a bright future. But during times of global or personal crisis, distanced self-talk can provide a lifeline. Kross also recommends “temporal distancing,” which involves shifting our focus from the immediate future to a longer time horizon.
Instead of asking how we’ll feel tomorrow after a major setback, we should project ourselves a year, or even a decade, into the future. This technique helps us visualise a future where the current crisis isn’t as overwhelming, giving us a more accurate—and often less painful—perspective on our situation.
In times like these, Kross’s advice resonates deeply, “We’re not going to rid the world of anxiety and depression. Negative emotions are good in small doses. But it is possible to turn down the temperature a bit when it’s running too high.”
The stories we tell ourselves don’t have to be perfect or free from struggle. They just need to give us enough clarity to see the future with hope, enough distance to manage the present, and enough perspective to rewrite the narratives that are no longer serving us.
When we were growing up, my mother would tell my brother and me stories before putting us to sleep. These stories were fascinating, and we enjoyed listening to them. But their biggest contribution to our lives has been sparking our imagination. When things go awry, we of course try to deal with them rationally, but it really helps to weave a brighter future with the story we are telling ourselves. Instead of obsessing over everything that can go wrong, we should train ourselves to construct a compelling narrative and work to make it happen. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
From what I observe, many ambitious professionals often berate themselves. When they do something bad, they don’t tell themselves I did something bad. They tell themselves, “I am bad.” Being harsh and lacking kindness toward oneself has absolutely no upside. We might think it is a momentary flash of anger and disappointment, but its effect lingers. We slowly become the villains of our story.
Learning to be kind to myself has been one of the most pivotal skills I’ve learned over the years. It has helped me maintain a sense of adventure and possibility toward the world. I am happy with where I am in life, but I am proud of the fact that I am not a skeptic. This, in no small measure, is a function of the personal narrative I’ve shaped over the years.